1 00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:08,842 ♪ MTV ♪ 2 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,345 [both chuckling] 3 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,348 [rock music] 4 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:21,555 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,968 The floor sucks. 6 00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:38,139 [chuckles] 7 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:40,708 Okay, we're running a new promo campaign 8 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,876 for the new ciabatta maple burger, 9 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,813 so we need somebody to stand out in front in this costume 10 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:48,882 and say, "Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone." 11 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,419 [chuckles] That's the dumbest thing 12 00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:53,354 I ever saw. - Oh, cool. 13 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,756 I wanna wear the hamburger-- 14 00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,491 head. - Great, it fits. 15 00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,561 Now, get in the bathroom and put the rest of the costume on. 16 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,597 Uh, okay. [chuckles] 17 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:04,798 [loud crash] 18 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:07,468 Um, sir? 19 00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:08,436 I wanted to wear the hamburger-- 20 00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,037 You keep mopping this floor. 21 00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:13,607 Okay, but, um, later, is it okay if I wear the hamburger-- 22 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,577 Let's meet our team goals today, all right? 23 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,012 Ugh, yeah, okay, yeah. 24 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,150 This sucks. 25 00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:26,754 [chuckles] This sucks. 26 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,622 [chuckles] - Hey, look, 27 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,191 it's, like, Hamburger Man. 28 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,360 Uh, welcome to, like, 29 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,562 the Ciabatta Zone or something. 30 00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:36,664 [laughs] Take my picture with him. 31 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:40,168 Uh, whoa, hi, baby. [laughter] 32 00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:42,703 - Now it's my turn. - Ooh, yeah, baby. 33 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,806 [laughter] Come to my Ciabatta Zone. 34 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,310 Hey! 35 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,179 [camera shutter clicking] 36 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,581 Can we take a picture where I'm sitting in your lap? 37 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,616 Uh, yeah. [chuckles] 38 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,586 The Ciabatta Zone kicks ass. 39 00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,788 [laughter] - Okay, one more. 40 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,290 [somber music] 41 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,624 Look, I'm Mrs. Hamburger. 42 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,626 [laughter] 43 00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,930 Ooh, yeah. [chuckles] 44 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,366 This guy gets it. 45 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:15,236 ♪ I'm about to pull up, hit switch ♪ 46 00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:18,406 Boy, when Post Malone smokes, 47 00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:19,773 he smokes. 48 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,209 ♪ Now I gotta resurface ♪ 49 00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:25,846 And smokes and smokes. [chuckles] 50 00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:29,116 Yeah, he just smokes the bejesus 51 00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:31,852 out of those cigarettes, yeah. [chuckles] 52 00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,288 When Post Malone smokes a cigarette, 53 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:37,090 that cigarette knows it's been smoked. 54 00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:39,960 [chuckles] 55 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,729 [chuckles] If you're a cigarette 56 00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:43,397 and you see Post Malone coming, 57 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,499 you can kiss your butt goodbye. 58 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,468 [chuckles] 59 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,337 ♪ With a warrant ♪ 60 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,572 Pretty soon, he's gonna have to have one of those 61 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,241 throat-voice box things, 62 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:55,376 where you have a hole in your throat. 63 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,810 Yeah, then he'll probably sound like, 64 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:59,112 you know-- well, I mean, 65 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:01,114 maybe he'll probably sound the same, you know? 66 00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,584 Just like this, you know? [chuckles] 67 00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:04,785 ♪ Flushin' something down the toilet ♪ 68 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,820 [raps gibberish] 69 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,422 ♪ Toilet ♪ 70 00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:09,623 [chuckles] 71 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,959 Uh, wait a minute, 72 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,794 maybe he's had one of those all along. 73 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:14,962 [chuckles] 74 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,264 Oh, yeah, yeah, 75 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:18,165 that's why he's wearing that turtleneck. 76 00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:19,700 ♪ And I been waiting so long ♪ 77 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,835 You know, I used to think smoking was really cool 78 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,471 until you get that hole in your throat, 79 00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:25,473 but now he's even made that cool. 80 00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,641 [chuckles] 81 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,643 Yep. [chuckles] 82 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,313 He kicks ass. [chuckles] 83 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:34,548 But he also gets tired really fast. 84 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,983 [chuckles] 85 00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:38,486 And that's why he sounds all lazy when he sings. 86 00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:40,488 [chuckles] 87 00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:43,991 He's like, "Ugh, my back, ugh." 88 00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,959 [chuckles] "You take it for a minute, 89 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:48,028 "Roddy Ricch. 90 00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:51,499 I am exhausted." [chuckles] 91 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:55,202 [groans] "I just need to sit down 92 00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:57,305 and have a cigarette, yeah." 93 00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:58,839 [chuckles] 94 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,041 "Yeah, I've been working real hard smoking. 95 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,711 I'm gonna have a little smoke break here." 96 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:06,079 [chuckles] - Yup, the best time 97 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,716 to have a cigarette is right after a cigarette. 98 00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:11,319 [chuckles] 99 00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:13,220 He's like-- "[sighs] 100 00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:15,789 I'm glad we shot this video in an IKEA." 101 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,325 [chuckles] 102 00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:19,693 "Plenty of places to sit down and smoke." 103 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,228 [chuckles] 104 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,897 ♪ And I been waiting so long ♪ 105 00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,533 ♪ Now I gotta resurface ♪ 106 00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,067 Look at that old guy down at the bottom, 107 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,836 trying to weasel into the party. 108 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,471 [chuckles] 109 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:33,607 Uh, I think that's, like, his doctor. 110 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,943 He's trying to dance his way up to Post Malone 111 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,547 to tell him he only has six weeks to live. 112 00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:42,350 Like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey, everybody, yeah. 113 00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:45,353 "Hey, Post, can I talk to you for a minute? 114 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:47,555 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's kind of important." 115 00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:50,824 [chuckles] 116 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,225 Yeah, he's like, 117 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,528 "Uh, Roddy Ricch, can you tell Post Malone 118 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,763 to come over here for a minute?" 119 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,164 [chuckles] - [chuckles] 120 00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,132 "Post! Post, the X-rays 121 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,534 "don't look good. I need to talk to you 122 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,635 right now." 123 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,170 [chuckles] 124 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,539 Well, never mind. He'll find out soon enough. 125 00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,375 [chuckles] 126 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:09,543 Yeah, nothing we can do anyway. 127 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:10,678 [chuckles] 128 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,615 [chuckles] 129 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:17,418 And then this other chick came by, and she's all, 130 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:20,220 "What's up, Hamburger Man?" [chuckles] 131 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,689 Uh-huh. [chuckles] 132 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,957 And then her friend gave me a hug, 133 00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,259 and I think the friend was a chick too. 134 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:29,096 But I can't really see too good out of my lettuce. 135 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,399 [chuckles] - That's great, Butt-Head. 136 00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:33,401 Good for you. [chuckles] 137 00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:36,069 And then this girl accidentally sat on my hand, 138 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,406 like, with her butt. [chuckles] 139 00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,541 And she was only sitting on the foam part, 140 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,943 but it kind of looked like I got some. 141 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,413 [chuckles] 142 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:47,314 I'm glad you're having such a good time, Butt-Head. 143 00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,049 [chuckles] - It's just too bad 144 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:52,119 that when I'm in the suit, the chicks can't see my face, 145 00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,787 or I bet they'd like me even more. 146 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,056 [chuckles] 147 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,558 Yeah, Butt-Head, um, 148 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,660 I just wanted to ask if maybe sometime I could wear-- 149 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,429 I'm gonna wear this suit every day 150 00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,431 until the end of time, Beavis. 151 00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:06,266 [chuckles] I will never take it off. 152 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,436 [chuckles] Except sometimes, 153 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:11,739 I will unzip it so the chicks can see my Ciabatta Zone. 154 00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:15,075 [chuckles] Yeah, I see. 155 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,276 [chuckles] - Yeah. 156 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,479 [chuckles] You see, my Ciabatta Zone 157 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:19,713 is actually my-- - I know 158 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,148 what your Ciabatta Zone is, Butt-Head. 159 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,616 [chuckles] 160 00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,718 It's my wiener. [chuckles] 161 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,687 Yeah, yeah. 162 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:29,623 Well, it's time for the two of us to get to work. 163 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,925 [chuckles] - Are we working today? 164 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:35,596 I was talking about me and the costume, butthole. 165 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,998 Now, zip me up. [chuckles] 166 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,333 Eh, okay. [chuckles] 167 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,772 Stay in school or something. 168 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,975 [chuckles] See you in the Ciabatta Zone. 169 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,343 [chuckles] 170 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:53,380 [somber music] 171 00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:56,316 Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone. [chuckles] 172 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,218 Don't do drugs--or something. 173 00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,153 [chuckles] - Hey, Butt-Head. 174 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,222 [striking dramatic note] 175 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,724 [chuckles] 176 00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:04,925 And look, 177 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,060 I made my own costume. Check it out. 178 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,496 [chuckles] 179 00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:11,565 What the hell are you supposed to be, dumbass? 180 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,300 [chuckles] - I'm, like, pizza. 181 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:14,868 [chuckles] 182 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,937 You can't just stand in front of Burger World 183 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,039 dressed as pizza. 184 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,841 Yes, I can. [chuckles] 185 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,310 Welcome to the pizza. 186 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,513 Wait, um, the--the, um-- 187 00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,615 the Pizza World of Ciabatta-- 188 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,717 what--wait, what is it again? [chuckles] 189 00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,319 Dude, it's 2021. 190 00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,755 Imagine what life is gonna be like in 2025. 191 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:39,226 "Where is--where--where--what is Ryan at 40 gonna be doing 192 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,360 on a Tuesday?" 193 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,430 Wait, um, who's Ryan? 194 00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,766 Uh, he's Ryan. 195 00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:47,267 - Hey, my name is Ryan. - He's doing that thing 196 00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,569 where he talks about himself. 197 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,838 "What is Ryan gonna be doing on a Tuesday?" 198 00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,873 [chuckles] - You know, I think, um-- 199 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,742 Think I might start doing that, you know? 200 00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:57,545 I mean, I think Beavis might do that, yeah. 201 00:07:57,545 --> 00:08:00,213 You know, in 2025, I think Beavis is gonna be 202 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,249 spanking his monkey more than ever-- 203 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:05,252 [chuckles] Yeah, on a Tuesday. 204 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,888 Yeah, and maybe Wednesday, Thursday. 205 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,056 [chuckles] 206 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,691 'Cause you know, the day I get to--I mean, 207 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,026 the day Beavis gets tired of spanking my--I mean, 208 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:16,263 the day Beavis gets tired of spanking Beavis' monkey 209 00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:19,232 then, um, you know, he's just not Beavis anymore. 210 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,401 [chuckles] 211 00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,804 SERHANT Studios? [chuckles] 212 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:27,040 No, I think it's SERHANT SERHANT. 213 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,843 Isn't he the guy that assassinated the president? 214 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,212 [chuckles] - [chuckles] 215 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,081 You said "ass." 216 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,282 [both chuckle] 217 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,750 Yeah. 218 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,085 Yeah, I said it twice, actually. 219 00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,587 [chuckles] 220 00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:42,189 SERHANT SERHANT ass-ass-inated the president. 221 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,657 By 7:45. 222 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:47,027 Uh, I didn't know you knew about history, Beavis. 223 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,195 [chuckles] 224 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,665 Uh, mostly just gun stuff, you know? 225 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,601 [chuckles] That's about it. 226 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,168 So I know we did this daily routine video 227 00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,404 a little while ago, but my life has changed-- 228 00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,506 namely, I'm now a dad, 229 00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:01,742 and I'm a CEO. 230 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,844 Whoa. He's way more excited 231 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:06,379 about being a CEO than he is about being a dad. 232 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,881 Let's go. 233 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,449 Well, it's not his fault. 234 00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:11,051 His baby sucks. 235 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,386 [chuckles] 236 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,089 Yeah, you know, they're not all good, you know? 237 00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:19,092 I mean, who needs dads anyway, you know? 238 00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,628 We don't. 239 00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,362 We turned out just fine. 240 00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:24,331 [chuckles] - [chuckles] 241 00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,634 [percussive beat] 242 00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:28,435 [sarcastically laughs] 243 00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:31,639 "It's not all serious here at SERHANT SERHANT. 244 00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,874 We like to have a little fun too." 245 00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,843 "You can't take yourself too seriously in life, 246 00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:37,277 you know?" [chuckles] 247 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,313 "Unless you're me, Ryan SERHANT SERHANT, 248 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:43,116 two-time New York Douchebag of the Year." 249 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:46,553 [both chuckle] 250 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,889 Everybody here has a story to tell, 251 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,692 and everyone here is an important piece. 252 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:54,695 [chuckles] I hate Ryan. 253 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,163 [chuckles] 254 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,198 Brand. 255 00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,001 This is, like, pepperoni, 256 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,036 and this is a sausage or something, 257 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,873 and the cone is something else they put on pizza. 258 00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,540 I don't know, it's, like, fruit or something. 259 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:08,942 [chuckles] 260 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,511 Welcome Ciabatta Pizza. 261 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:14,715 Yeah, uh, we don't have any change. 262 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,349 Yeah, this sucks. [chuckles] 263 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:19,953 Pizza sucks. Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone. 264 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,223 Hey, man, did you touch Angela Dattilo's butt yesterday 265 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,725 with that dumbass glove? 266 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,460 Uh, yeah, I sure did. 267 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,529 [chuckles] 268 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,399 Well, her boyfriend's on his way here to kick your ass. 269 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,134 Uh, 270 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,368 really? 271 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,370 Hmm. [chuckles] 272 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:40,373 Welcome to Pizza. Do you know what a zone is? 273 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,777 [chuckles] 274 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,578 Uh, Beavis, 275 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:48,515 I've decided to let you wear the hamburger costume. 276 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,350 [chuckles] - Oh, really, Butt-Head? 277 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:53,320 You're gonna let me wear the hamburger, for real? 278 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,654 Yes, Beavis. 279 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,825 I know you've wanted this for a long time. 280 00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,728 Now hurry up and put it on as fast as you can 281 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,095 before I change my mind. 282 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,064 Whoa. Yeah, yeah. 283 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,234 Yeah, this is pretty cool, yeah. 284 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,737 I'm in the Ciabatto Zone. [chuckles] 285 00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:11,438 Keep it on for a long time. 286 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,540 [chuckles] 287 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,142 [humming] 288 00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:16,443 ♪ Ciabatta ♪ - Hey, you. 289 00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:17,911 Where's that Hamburger Man? 290 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,814 He's right that way, sir. [chuckles] 291 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,816 Hey, Hamburger Man! 292 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:23,917 Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone. 293 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,118 Touch her butt, man? 294 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,787 [grunts] - Wanna take a picture? 295 00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,121 Wait--hey, wait a minute. 296 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,422 I think he's kicking my ass. 297 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,258 - This is what you get. - Butt-Head, help. 298 00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,592 [chuckles] [punches thudding] 299 00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:33,827 I can't see. Is that a chick? 300 00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,295 - [chuckles] - Hey, cut it out! 301 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,529 Hey! Ow. 302 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,098 [screams] Ow! 303 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:40,968 You wanted to be the hamburger, 304 00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,870 and I wanted to see you get your ass kicked. 305 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,371 [chuckles] 306 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,572 Everyone wins. 307 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,340 Pretty cool, yeah. 308 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,575 It was a great day. 309 00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,610 It sure was, yeah, 310 00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,846 and some guy said he's gonna send the video to WorldStar. 311 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,114 [chuckles] 312 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,916 Not too bad, yeah. [chuckles] 313 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,185 Not bad at all. [chuckles] 314 00:11:58,185 --> 00:12:00,353 I miss when this couch had cushions though, you know? 315 00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:01,688 [chuckles] 316 00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,390 I'll kick your ass about that another time, 317 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,926 Beavis. For now, let's just 318 00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:07,660 enjoy this moment. 319 00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:13,100 [rock music plays] 320 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:17,004 [military music] 321 00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:22,575 ♪ ♪ 322 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:26,213 So there I was, trapped behind enemy lines, 323 00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,615 pinned down in a Korean farmhouse 324 00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:31,451 by 50 Commie soldiers-- 325 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:35,889 just me and three of my brothers in the Marine Corps, 326 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:39,459 and let's not forget a brave Korean farmer 327 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,395 by the name of Hon-yong. 328 00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:45,398 [gunshots firing] 329 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,071 Hon-yong, I don't know who fixed this for you 330 00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,673 the last time, but oh, boy-- 331 00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:56,443 I ought to be able to just clean out the P trap 332 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:57,878 and the pop-out drain, 333 00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:01,548 but this one here is a 1 1/2 inch galvanized, 334 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:05,485 and this one--well, that there is metric. 335 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,855 [sighs] Well, that's one way to do it. 336 00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:10,257 - I'm running out of ammo! - There's more of them coming! 337 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:13,460 [gunshots firing] - [grunts] 338 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,462 - [speaks Korean] - Yeah, I bet the last guy 339 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,630 told you he could save you a few won 340 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,500 if you just used whatever he had in the truck. 341 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:24,104 Well, I always say there's nothing more expensive 342 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,739 than saving a little money on home maintenance. 343 00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:28,108 [bullet dings] 344 00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,978 Okay, Hon-yong, where's the main water shutoff 345 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,379 to the house? 346 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,680 [gunshots firing] 347 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,215 Hon-yong? 348 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,120 Well, it ought to be by the water heater-- 349 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,188 usually is. 350 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,722 [bullets thud] - [grunts] 351 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,360 And that's exactly where it was. 352 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,330 But I bet you wanna hear the rest of the story-- 353 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,565 how the idiot who fixed that sink 354 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:56,269 screwed up the T and P valve on the water heater. 355 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,939 If Hon-yong wasn't already dead, 356 00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:01,408 he could've been seriously burned. 357 00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:05,745 But that's a tale for the next "Tom Anderson's War Stories." 358 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:08,514 ♪ ♪